TL;DR: please don’t give me any heads-up for any kind of things that you can’t share right away. It kind of stop my life. Please don’t.
I like surprises. My life is full of surprises and rushed decisions. Most of the best decisions that I’ve ever made is made in a really short time. Live the life kind of thing.
I like to be in the know. And maybe I take that a bit too seriously. Every time I want to know about something, or someone, I obsessed on finding out every little detail. Kind of like a stalker. With no action. I’m happy that I know. That’s it.
So, not knowing and knowing that I don’t know makes my whole body itch! It makes me want to scratch my brain. It makes me sooo anxious that I want to throw up. My life simply stop.
Today someone told me, “you’ll be surprised on the result” (not in a good way). And he stopped. And I know that he’ll not be available next week, then I won’t be available the week after that, so at least I have to face this BAD uncertainty for the next TWO WEEKS!!!
What a way to destroy someone’s life, right?
Again, I have no solution for this. Like right now I’m just feeling reeeeeeeally bad, knowing that something bad is going to happen to me, but I don’t know what. And I can’t anticipate or prepare anything because I know nothing and it might be the complete opposite of what I’ve known so far.
Terrible.
Can’t even describe my feeling.
That’s why I’m writing here, hoping that the feeling will reduce or something.
Nope.
Writing about it amplifies it.
What a disaster.